We’ve all heard the saying “You can’t love anyone else until you love yourself first.” Right?
For a lot of people, that’s a unique concept and one very foreign to their day to day life. So why do so many people struggle to find love for themselves?
There’s a lot that goes into answering that question. A lot of our environment is against the idea of self-love, we are taught through mainstream media, traditional education and society that we are not enough until we buy the next product or pursue the next goal. That mindset leads to us always look outward for the answers to our self-worth and as a result, we can find ourselves on a never-ending search for the next “thing” that is supposed to finally bring us fulfillment.
So what’s the truth?
True self-love comes from two things:
1) Accepting yourself for exactly as you are.
2) Not settling for just acceptance and pursuing some level of growth and contribution.
No matter who you are or how much you’ve achieved, we all need to continue to grow in order to be happy with ourselves. Our potential is unlimited! Growth has no boundaries, so be careful not to get caught in the trap of waiting for growth to love yourself, find acceptance today, it will only give you more push to grow.
It’s quite the paradox isn’t it? We need both.
Sometimes in life, we need to find balance; there are times when you need to lean more on one side than the other. Know what’s important to you, build your self-awareness. it will serve you more than you can imagine.
Another key to self-love is taking time for yourself. It can be for exercise, meditation, reflection, practice or leisure, whatever it is that brings you joy and recharges you for the rest of the day. Even if we are obligated to care for others and put their needs ahead of our own like in the case of parents or caretakers, no matter what there will always be 10 minutes or so you can find for yourself. Get less sleep, wake up early, watch one less episode of tv, whatever it is you need to do to make this time for yourself and to commit to it, it will make you feel much better about yourself.
Remember, self-love comes from acceptance, self-growth comes from persistence and progress. Find the balance between this paradox and you will crack the self-love/self-confidence code.
By: Bren Dubé @brendube
Based on Episode 27 of The Implicit Show